Suggested Guidelines For Bar/Bat Mitzvah at
Beth Israel Congregation Of Lexington Park, Maryland

Suggested Guidelines for Bar/Bat Mitzvah at
Beth Israel Congregation of Lexington Park, Maryland

1.        A Bar or Bat Mitzvah is one of the most important life cycle events for a Jew. For a child, it is the first time that he or she is called to the Torah and assumes formal responsibility for the mitzvot (commandments). While many life-cycle events are primarily family or private occasions, such as brit milah/baby naming, conversion and marriage, the Bar or Bat Mitzvah is an event where the congregation formally welcomes the child into the "adult" Jewish community.  We hope that this set of guidelines helps ensure that your family enjoys this significant and inspirational moment in the life cycle of your child. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please contact Rabbi Fred Elias at bethisraelmd@yahoo.com.

2.        At the beginning of each School year there will be a meeting for all parents of Bar/Bat Mitzvah children held jointly by the Rabbi and the Talmud Torah Committee.  Attendance is required for parents of 11 and 12 year olds.  At that time, dates will be set and goals will be outlined to ensure a successful and fulfilling path towards becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah and entering the entire community of Israel as an adult.

3.        An individual plan of study will be developed for each Bar/Bat Mitzvah student with the help of the Rabbi based on each child’s ability.  The Congregation will provide guidance concerning available resources for learning trop and preparation of Haftorah and Torah portions.  This may include a list of audiovisual aids, websites, and tutors.

4.        Beth Israel Congregation follows the conservative tradition and as such Bar/Bat Mitzvah children must be Jewish as defined by the conservative movement, i.e. of matrilineal descent.  The Congregation will assist families on an individual basis to ensure that no family is excluded. For example, for a child of patrilineal descent, the performance of a perfunctory conversion will ensure that this young person, celebrating their entrance into Jewish adulthood, will find acceptance within the widest possible circle of Jewish community - even outside of Lexington Park.

5.        Children shall have attended religious school for a minimum of two years.

6.        Every child is encouraged to attend as many Friday evening and Saturday morning services as possible during the eight months prior to the ceremony.  This is essential because the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony will take place at a Friday night and Saturday morning service. Teaching children who are regular attendees of services is a far different experience from teaching children who have only occasionally come to services.  In addition, as part of their preparation for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah, children will be encouraged to participate in services by leading selected prayers that they have studied with the Rabbi.  Since Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a beginning of a life-long journey, not an end in itself, family attendance at services during this period accomplishes many important things.  It establishes social ties of the family to the synagogue, it allows the young Bar/Bat Mitzvah to socialize with other young people in the same situation, and it demonstrates commitment of the family to a religious and spiritual goal.

7.        The child's participation in a tzedakah project can be a very meaningful part of becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah and is encouraged by the congregation.  Each child and his/her family should make appropriate arrangements to do the project with the rabbi.

8.        According to conservative tradition, photography, video and audio recording are not appropriate on Shabbat on synagogue grounds.  Photography may be arranged during the week before and should be coordinated with the House Committee.

9.        There will be a $100 fee for preparation of the Synagogue for Congregation members, $500 for non-members.

10.     In addition, should you wish to follow the common practice of making some special donation to the synagogue as part of your family's celebration, the custom is to install a leaf on the Tree of Life commemorating the event.  Alternatively, you may wish to consider: 

a.        Permanent items for the Sunday School, library or synagogue 

b.       Donation to the Building Fund 

c.        Donation to the Synagogue's General Fund

Final Note: The above information is just a start in your family's preparation for what we hope will be a significant and inspiring moment in the life cycle of your child. For now, enjoy and Mazel Tov. 

Rabbi Fred Elias

The Board of Beth Israel Congregation

Adopted as revised 18 November 2007